On March 3rd, 2025, our son was born weighing 1lb 13oz at 09:10 pm.
We anticipated this day to come, but not this soon. On March 3rd, we were at our high-risk appointment for our twice-weekly visit for the bio-physical profile (BPP). This test monitors the baby’s breathing, movement, blood flow, and overall condition. These visits were recommended to be done twice a week as they noticed an absence of blood flow in one of the umbilical cord arteries during a previous visit. On this day (March 3rd ), they found reversed flow in this artery during the BPP.
We were then admitted to St Joe’s for an emergency cesarean operation to have some time with our baby boy. I commend my wife, Angela, for being so strong and brave as we navigated this journey together. For her strength she gave Sylar more time than what was expected. Angela put up an unbearable fight, holding him tightly for so many months. Feeling him kick, punch, and roll around for 7 months. After the birth, she didn’t get much time with him because of the drugs and her body recovering from a major surgery. We were told we would only have a few hours with him. Sylar Wayne Anderson fought long and hard inside the womb and after birth. We were given the opportunity to spend a whole day with him to show him how much he is loved. He was bathed, clothed, fed, snuggled, hugged, kissed, and shown so much love in such a little time, surrounded by our amazing family.
I would like to say how angry we are, how unfair this is that this happened. After 7 years of trying to expand our family. It finally happened. It was the most amazing feeling we ever had, filled with happiness and love. When Angela told me we were having a baby, I was out of breath and trembling out of excitement and pure joy. And it was all ripped away from us so quickly once we found out our little boy had Trisomy 18..
For 7 months, Angela carried him, and we both went through countless appointments and specialists, all telling us the same thing.
He would not make it long.
We would not wish this upon any family. To those families who have gone through similar situations, our hearts hurt with you.
Sylar’s life was short-lived, but will be forever carried in our minds, but most importantly, will be forever in our hearts.
We had multiple decisions to make on the way for his condition and longevity to his life. Instead of intervening and adding tubes, drugs, and constant NICU visibility for our benefit, we opted for no intervention and for him to pass naturally and at peace, to be able to spend as much time with him as we can.
On March 4th at 07:39 am, he passed peacefully in Angela’s arms, and a star was born. His final moments were the time when Angela was finally coherent enough to actually hold him and show him the love of a mother. She is devastated that she didn’t get much time with him. We made a decision together to not intervene with his passing, and I beat myself up every day for not doing anything to help keep him with us longer just to give her more time with him.
Honey, for that I am so sorry.
Sylar had a severe heart condition that could not be fixed because of his diagnosis. His heart slowly gave out in the end when we were told he would simply just forget to breathe.
He beat all the expectations the specialists told us would happen. His breathing was good, he was crying and showed zero signs of struggling. He was a true fighter.
Sylar will be remembered and celebrated forever. Some of you already know this, we have a space theme for him. This was decided when one day we went to build a bear to make him a bear. On the wall they had this “star bear” with the purchase of this star bear comes with the opportunity to name and dedicate a star to him.
We saw that and immediately said that’s the one. His star can be found just outside of Orion which hits home to just how much of a fighter he was. After that I had started to take a severe interest in the vast universe and started to do research and got into this hole of space. One day, my phone noticed this and plugged in an “algorithm” and all my feeds were filled with was just space stuff.
Well one day, this Space Burial video came across my feed. Once we saw that video we knew exactly what we would do. We would send a portion of his ashes into deep space to be joined with his star. We as parents typically say to our children that we would give them the moon and to reach for the stars. I’d like to think he is the one telling us this. As now we will forever look at the night sky and this vast universe oh so differently. We may not be able to show him the world but we will be able to show him the universe, and he will be on an adventure that will last forever.
We may not be able to hear his first words, see his first steps, shape him into a beautiful loving man and show him the world. But, we will at least give him the opportunity to see the universe and traverse further than any being ever has. Wherever we are on this space rock we call earth, we can look up and know he is up there somewhere shining back down on us.
Sylar, my boy. Today we don’t say goodbye, but see you later. You will never be forgotten.
I hope the time we had with you showed you how much mommy and daddy and our huge family love you.
Rest easy and shine bright forever. We love you.
