My baby brother Michael Alexander Gafa was a gentle soul who asked for very little from this world but gave us a profound example of resilience.
He was a gorgeous child full of joy, laughter & wonder, who loved life, loved the world & everything in it. Loved running into the ocean, jumping into piles of autumn leaves, sledding down snowy hills, Christmas lights, feeding ducks & geese; he loved animals, & animals adored him. He loved to eat the cakes & cookies I'd bake, when I'd take him & our brother Paul to Carvel for Sundaes on Wednesdays, when I brought home leftover pizza from my job at Nino's Pizza. He was an active kid. He played in the junior soccer league, had a beautiful singing voice, & loved art, especially painting & sculpting. He sculpted a realistic moonscape that was very impressive. He discovered reruns of Star Trek & actually believed they were being filmed live in real time. Wouldn't miss an episode.
He was 8 when I left home at 18. I started to worry about him. He had changed somehow. He withdrew into himself. Though he learned to read well, he started having problems at school and had trouble concentrating. You see, that little infant who gripped my finger with so much strength the first time I saw him faced immense hurdles from the very beginning of his life. Michael survived 3 critical blood transfusions as an RH-negative baby & was navigating a world that was rarely built for his unique mind. At 15, he was hospitalized & diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. And naturally, throughout the years, modern psychiatry kept adding more 'istics' & 'isms' labels onto his list of diagnoses.
Yet, through special education, homeschooling & sheer determination, he achieved his 9th-grade diploma at age 21-a testament to his quiet perseverance. Mike possessed a beautiful intellect that refused to be confined by his circumstances. He looked far past the walls of care facilities & the instabilities of a broken system. Instead, his mind lived among the stars. He was captivated by the vastness of astronomy & deeply engaged with world events, driven by a pure curiosity about the universe around us.
Tragically, Michael's journey was marked by severe systematic failure. He was shuffled through a system that lacks true care, facing displacement, isolation & an ultimate, heartbreaking absence of humanity & justice. He did not deserve the struggles forced upon him, nor did he deserve to be failed by the structures meant to protect him.
Yet, the cruelty of his final chapters does not define who he was. Michael was a man who demanded nothing, bore his heavy crosses with quiet dignity & kept his eyes turned toward the sky. While our hearts break & burn with the injustice of his passing, we take comfort in knowing he is finally safe.
Passing away from this earth at 57, the year of his Saturn return, Saturn, the ruler of karmic completion & profound transformation, has taken him home. Now Michael is free from the cages, the neglect & the confusion of this world & soaring among the infinite, beautiful constellations he loved so much.
Mike, if you pass your 50th birthday star, the one with your name on it, give it a wave! Maybe send me a shooting star to let me know you've seen it. (Or rather, just tell me in my dreams!)
And Michael, if you do choose to come back here again, may Jupiter bless you with an environment that will benefit the blessings of your studies, your enthusiasm & love in you to use for the good of mankind.
You will always be Pugsley to my Wednesday.
I will always be Pebbles to your Bam Bam.
You will be Forever in my Heart Little Brother
~ May the Good Force be with You ~
