How do you sum up a life together in a few short passages? How to convey what a beloved mother has meant, and how she has shaped your life in just a few short moments? My mother taught us both to be independent, to work hard, to care for those more vulnerable than ourselves, the environment, and to live our lives to the fullest. She was funny, witty and sarcastic; one year when I was a young child, she asked me what I wanted to be for Halloween, when I responded “a witch!” She told me that I didn’t need a costume! This sense of humour continued into her illness, and it helped us to find humour in even the darkest of times (like the time I wasn’t paying attention as we were heading out to do groceries and we got to Walmart to discover she was wearing one croc slipper and one running shoe!) Her laugh and good humour captured the hearts of those who cared for her at the Osgoode Care Centre, and many people would tell me how much they loved mom when they found out who I was there to see.
She loved animals, and she knew every dog in the neighbourhood. They reciprocated this love, and many dogs would stop at our driveway hoping for a glimpse of her and accompanying pets and attention. Our neighbour’s cat would come running like a dog when Mom would call his name, and if she wasn't outside, he would still try to come over and see if he could find her.
Mom loved music, and it played a large part in our childhood. A favourite activity of mine growing up was when Mom would pull out her old records, and we would play them and sing and dance along to the Monkees, Boney M’s Rasputin and fun novelty songs like The Streak, the Rodeo Song and others. As her illness progressed, her love of music remained, and I would sit and play music for her, and she would dance and laugh and smile.
Mom always had a camera in her hands, and she was the family historian. Capturing memories and moments for us all to look back on and remember. She chronicled the family’s history and story in extensive scrapbooks. Her love of family and friends was always on display; she could always be counted on and was the glue that held the extended family together. She discovered far-flung relatives across the globe and delighted in uncovering new cousins and branches of the family tree.
She maintained lifelong friendships, including her best friend Janice, they were the dynamic duo in high school and through the decades that followed despite living across the country from one another.
Mom’s love of sci-fi, and especially Star Trek, was legendary (she knew the original series of Star Trek so well, she taught herself French by rewatching the Original Series in French!). It was a constant presence in our home growing up, from watching The Next Generation every week to Star Trek ornaments hanging from garlands strung across the ceiling during the Christmas season (ornaments we now squabble over who will get which one!). Mom loved going to ComiCon and our friend Lance’s Fanaticon, she made such an impact Lance dedicated the 2024 Fanaticon season in mom's memory. She enjoyed talking with other fans, everyone’s costumes, and meeting and speaking with her idols. A cherished memory Joe has is meeting Nichelle Nichols (Lieutenant Uhura from the original series). They were first in line and spoke with her for several minutes about her accomplishments and legacy. Another encounter she loved recounting was meeting Brent Spiner a few years apart (the first time with me, the second time with Joe), and him remembering us! Joe also treasures a surprise ComiCon event when he was young, where him and mom met Michael Dorn (Warf from the next generation) and both got a card autographed.
This love of sci-fi is why Joe and I made the decision to send some of her ashes into space. Dementia may have stolen her from us far too soon, but we know she would have been so excited about this, and we felt there was no better way to honour her memory.
Mom was a voracious reader and passed her love of books along to me. We loved to explore used bookstores and spent many happy mornings comfortably reading together in the library with the dogs and a nice cup of tea.
Mom was also very creative and crafty, sewing fantastic outfits for us as children (a special highlight that I still have is a ninja turtle costume for a dance recital!), I still also have many cushions she made for me as well as several quilts. She was a prolific cross stitcher, and my brother and I both proudly display multiple finished items.
Mom was fiercely independent, and she began teaching us independence at a young age, we both clearly remember mom bringing us down to the laundry room when we were about 8 years old, showing us how the machines worked, and then leaving us to figure it out. We wouldn’t be the people we are today without her lessons and example. She raised us to be strong and successful. Our successes are her legacy, and we will continue to live fully and richly in her honour.
It’s impossible to say goodbye or to adequately convey what she meant to both of us, but we loved her, and we will miss her forever. Her memory will live on in the hearts of everyone she touched, and she will soar into space and fly amongst the stars forever.
